Sometimes in our life, we meet people we don’t just feel comfortable around. It’s either they scare the crap out of us or they just give us a negative vibe.
Some of these toxic people could be our friends, family members or even our significant other.
Spotting these people early before they get deep into our lives is very important. But some of us already have them in our lives and they are causing us more harm than good.
Wondering what a toxic person is? Or what it means that a person is toxic? A Toxic person is one who is unsupportive, abusive, or emotionally unstable. They tend to bring you down anytime you are around them. If you feel negative vibes, worn out or emotionally drained when you are around someone, then you should know that person is toxic.
Wondering how you can identify this toxic person and how to deal with toxic people in your life? I’ve made an article about some common toxic people traits you should look out for and how to deal with such people making your life unbearable.
Also Read: How to Master Self Discipline
Toxic people traits you should look out for
1. “I’m always right” type of people
This kind of people are extremely stubborn and always thinks they are right. No amount of convincing can change their mind. Even when they are wrong they always find a way to convince their self that they are right.
This kind of people are difficult to be around with and you can never win an argument with them because he always thinks he’s always right, even with all the facts staring at them in the face.
This is a very common toxic people traits you must look out for.
2. Emotional Blackmail
A toxic person will always try to abuse your emotions psychologically with the goal of influencing your behaviour.
Some parents often do this. Especially in a home where both parents don’t live together, one parent might try to twist the minds of the kids, making them believe the other parent isn’t a good person so that they can spend more time with them.
Toxic people always trying to use your emotions against you and make you feel guilty just to make you comply.
3. “The, know it all” kind of people
Some of us probably have that one person in our lives who thinks he/she knows it all.
This kind of people is always looking for where to prove themselves to others that they know it all. While in actual reality they know nothing at all.
Just imagine yourself getting into business dealings with that kind of person, he will never want to listen to your ideas because he thinks he knows it all.
This kind of people unintentionally makes people around them feel inferior including yourself.
4. The Drama Queen/King
This kind of people like to surround themselves with drama and when they can’t find one, they create one. It makes them feel good about themselves at your own expense.
It’s difficult to do away with people like this once they come into your life without you suffering some sort of damage.
5. The Pessimist
This kind of people usually sees the bad in everything. It’s usually difficult to please this kind of people because they are always looking for the bad in you. This is not the type of people you want to be around with because their negative energy will always drain the life force out of you.
6. Aggressive people
Sometimes aggression is needed in life, but not always. This kind of people doesn’t know any other way to solve issues. For them the only answer to solving problems is aggression. They are always ready to throw the first punch in matters that can easily be solved by words. You can’t really go anywhere trying to solve problems with this kind of people if they have not used their fist first.
Even if they don’t use their fist on you, you definitely won’t be able to escape their verbal jabs.
They are expert in criticising people. They criticize everything about you, like your behaviour, personality, appearance and anything at all they can notice about you. Just know that nothing you do around them that you won’t be criticised about. If this criticism is channelled towards you for a longer time, it will have a negative effect on your self-esteem.
8. The Hypocrite
There are times in our lives we do things we said we would never do, it’s normal cos sometimes circumstance might make us change our decisions. But if you have a friend or you know someone who makes it a habit to always do exactly what they say they will never do, you should avoid them. Because in most cases these people don’t even realize that they just did what they said they would never do. For instance, if you know someone who comes to the public debunk the idea of hitting a woman, then go back home to hit his wife, then that person you should stay away from.
9. The Victim
This kind of people always complains about how the universe is against them and how things aren’t moving and still they do nothing to fix the problem. This is like a worker who constantly complains about how little they pay him but he’s worked in the same job for the same company and in the same position for the last 10 years.
This kind of people complains about virtually everything. And if you hang around them more often, you will start acting like them.
They always blame everyone else but not themselves for every slightest thing that happens in their life. They never own up to their own fault. Always looking for someone to blame for why they aren’t improving academically, socially or general wellbeing.
11. Filled with negativity
They never support you and they are never happy especially if it involves you. For instance, you buy a new car, instead of them to be happy for you, they will start telling you how often auto crash happens. Before you know it, you will start second-guessing yourself.
12. Master Manipulators
They are master manipulators. They will manipulate you to get anything from you. They try to make you sympathise with them on every occasion just to get something from you. For example, the person might lie about the health of her child just to get a free pass at work.
Most of the time, these people have the above mentioned toxic traits but don’t realize they do. Which is more reason you need to spot these toxic people traits quickly before they lure you in, thereby making it difficult for you to get out from?
Only if you discover these traits on time, will you have a healthy social life.
How to deal with toxic people
Dealing with toxic people isn’t an easy task. Especially if you are not quick to identify their toxicity. Below are how to deal with toxic people without feeling guilty.
1. Express yourself
Learn to express yourself completely around them especially after you have experienced the above toxic people traits. Don’t pretend like everything is ok when they exhibit their toxic nature towards you. The more you keep pretending the more they will continue treating you in a manner you don’t like.
Try to avoid being too confrontational when trying to express yourself. For example, rather than telling the person what they are doing wrong, it’s better you tell them what you are experiencing when they act in a certain way.
2. Tell them how you expect them to treat you
If you feel you are not being treated well by one person it’s important you voice it out rather than just take it in all the time. Some people don’t know what acceptable behaviour is, what is acceptable behaviour to one person might not be acceptable to another person. That is why it’s always important to air your grievance before it becomes a norm.
3. Speak confidently
If you want to know how to deal with toxic people, you will first need to be confident enough to speak your mind.
Toxic people are always looking to use your weaknesses against you. If a toxic person discovers you don’t have the confidence or courage to talk to him/her they will try to use it against you.
If you are the type that lacks confident you can do a few rehearsals before approaching them.
4. Set boundaries
Learn how to set and maintain boundaries. When dealing with a toxic person, boundaries are very much important. Toxic people try to take advantage of you, especially if you lack confidence or boundaries. Setting boundaries is a way of you telling a toxic person this is how much you can take.
Learn not to always say yes to their demands and stand by your word.
5. Listen to your inner thoughts
When dealing with a toxic person, you should always listen to your guts. Don’t always make excuses for a toxic person because they will always treat you the same way. If your instinct says this person is taking advantage of you, then its probably true. And you should do something about it.
6. Seek for help
When dealing with a toxic person, most of the time you will probably feel drained. You need the support of a close friend or family member to help you through the period. Giving too much of yourself in a relationship is not always the best especially if it’s with a toxic person. Which is the more reason you will need your support network to help you manoeuvre.
7. Ask them to seek help
You should try to talk to them about seeking help from a professional if they want to maintain or keep a relationship with you. And if they refuse, you can consider the last option on this list.
8. Walk away
Cutting people off of your life can be difficult, but it’s better than having to spend the rest of your life with a toxic person.
Always keep your options open when dealing with a toxic person. You should decide walking away if the person refuses to change their behaviour or seek help.
Remaining in a relationship with a toxic person can have a serious negative impact on your self-esteem, cause you emotion imbalance, or might even cost you your relationship with other people.
So if it doesn’t feel good, you should walk away.
Now you know how to deal with toxic people If you ever feel like the person next to you is toxic.
Have you ever met a toxic person? And how did you handle it? Let us know in the comment section below.